mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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