guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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