Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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