4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The beer is more important than you right now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this will be a night to untag.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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