Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
