Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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