How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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