All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize