You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We are two peas in an std pod
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
