I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize