Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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