I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
