so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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