Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's JV to your varsity
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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