Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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