I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
