matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
