Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
