Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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