when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Randomize
