Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
