I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
