PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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