those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
