weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize