when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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