I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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