chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
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giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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