summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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