yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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