best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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