You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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