This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
cat food counts as protein by the way
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
