i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
