Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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