Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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