Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
