Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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