hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
