Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
