Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

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  (440): Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/5zyy
  Replies (23) Good night (3572) Bad night (730)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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  (573): shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls. http://tfl.nu/v89m
  Replies (38) Good night (1699) Bad night (4128)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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  (248): Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"? http://tfl.nu/h596
  Replies (38) Good night (4692) Bad night (2569)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.

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  (503): Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy. http://tfl.nu/7ct1
  Replies (11) Good night (682) Bad night (3167)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

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  (615): just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here. http://tfl.nu/npdf
  Replies (19) Good night (947) Bad night (4634)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land

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  (978): a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land http://tfl.nu/vapb
  Replies (35) Good night (1523) Bad night (5948)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.

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  (513): his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick. http://tfl.nu/h0yf
  Replies (18) Good night (1369) Bad night (5020)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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  (719): She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance. http://tfl.nu/lni2
  Replies (2) Good night (1499) Bad night (649)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun

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  (347): Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun http://tfl.nu/317f
  Replies (2) Good night (1059) Bad night (386)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

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  (440): I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection http://tfl.nu/hamn
  Replies (2) Good night (1243) Bad night (480)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us

  (845): View more from New York

  I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god

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  (845): The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us (845): I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god http://tfl.nu/vq2q
  Replies (1) Good night (1023) Bad night (310)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.

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  (812): Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers. http://tfl.nu/ldne
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.

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  (402): On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus. http://tfl.nu/e88p
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (357)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.

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  (678): Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind. http://tfl.nu/sfym
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (562)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone

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  (484): I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone http://tfl.nu/t0ck
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (598)

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