Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"

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(214): I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night" http://tfl.nu/h7ul

Replies (14) Good night (2159) Bad night (668)
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(585): View more from New York

we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist

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(585): we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist http://tfl.nu/e75m

Replies (19) Good night (6891) Bad night (728)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

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(717): so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine. http://tfl.nu/pias

Replies (11) Good night (4725) Bad night (796)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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(256): I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me. http://tfl.nu/r79q

Replies (14) Good night (1234) Bad night (5459)
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(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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(315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81

Replies (14) Good night (6077) Bad night (709)
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(805): View more from California

Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?

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(805): Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement? http://tfl.nu/mmb3

Replies (21) Good night (4130) Bad night (1074)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.

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(802): Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too. http://tfl.nu/k5c7

Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (856)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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(803): I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT. http://tfl.nu/pk4z

Replies (4) Good night (1437) Bad night (506)
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(858): View more from California

Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm

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(858): Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm http://tfl.nu/x3tv

Replies (9) Good night (1670) Bad night (470)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least

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(541): Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least http://tfl.nu/6jj4

Replies (5) Good night (1142) Bad night (432)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.

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(920): You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands. http://tfl.nu/ucsy

Replies (9) Good night (334) Bad night (1016)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico

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(651): Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico http://tfl.nu/a33d

Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (262)
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(850): View more from Florida

I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

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(850): I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test. http://tfl.nu/cted

Replies (1) Good night (987) Bad night (394)
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(562): View more from California

When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.

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(562): When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed. http://tfl.nu/ppx1

Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (241)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans

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(570): Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans http://tfl.nu/4qeg

Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (732)

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