Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree