Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now

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  (602): OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now http://tfl.nu/twmw
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home

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  (918): I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home http://tfl.nu/0qps
  Replies (16) Good night (813) Bad night (4046) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

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  (609): I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted http://tfl.nu/rfs0
  Replies (98) Good night (1991) Bad night (8703)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.

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  (706): we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating. http://tfl.nu/lk5p
  Replies (13) Good night (6487) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?

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  (916): Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool? http://tfl.nu/8wpx
  Replies (15) Good night (6556) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...

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  (585): I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party... http://tfl.nu/k1nk
  Replies (10) Good night (1004) Bad night (4011) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.

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  (360): Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building. http://tfl.nu/uuvc
  Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (2533) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.

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  (315): She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts. http://tfl.nu/f020
  Replies (10) Good night (1888) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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  (806): He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out http://tfl.nu/voyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1898) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.

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  (780): I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815. http://tfl.nu/p37f
  Replies (3) Good night (3405) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.

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  (603): All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident. http://tfl.nu/iw55
  Replies (7) Good night (2867) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  How did you make it to work sans hangover?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols

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  (660): How did you make it to work sans hangover? (816): 4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols http://tfl.nu/2csk
  Replies (8) Good night (1700) Bad night (803)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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  (614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.

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  (701): I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting. http://tfl.nu/1ezz
  Replies (13) Good night (1227) Bad night (1382) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.

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  (250): Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'. http://tfl.nu/ziub
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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