worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
