apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW