I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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