Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

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  (562): Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace. http://tfl.nu/mzqe
  Replies (8) Good night (1174) Bad night (609)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.

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  (609): Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet. http://tfl.nu/2pvo
  Replies (90) Good night (11859) Bad night (846)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in

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  (740): this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in http://tfl.nu/i6mo
  Replies (13) Good night (3437) Bad night (698)
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  (914): View more from New York

  getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.

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  (914): getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/b9qd
  Replies (60) Good night (914) Bad night (6208)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.

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  (269): when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way. http://tfl.nu/230k
  Replies (16) Good night (7464) Bad night (1107)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

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  (989): It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat. http://tfl.nu/ln17
  Replies (28) Good night (6106) Bad night (1486)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.

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  (641): is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink. http://tfl.nu/upl9
  Replies (29) Good night (4892) Bad night (1625)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now

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  (828): I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now http://tfl.nu/merq
  Replies (12) Good night (3501) Bad night (1203)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.

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  (+64): And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/yu5v
  Replies (23) Good night (5745) Bad night (1540)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.

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  (847): Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron. http://tfl.nu/1d6g
  Replies (14) Good night (905) Bad night (2714)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover

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  (319): I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover http://tfl.nu/oafl
  Replies (4) Good night (1450) Bad night (542)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal

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  (651): Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal http://tfl.nu/k2ew
  Replies (5) Good night (1137) Bad night (508)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.

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  (801): My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use. http://tfl.nu/q2pv
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (335)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  SO DRUNK

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  PUKED IN DRIVEWAY

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  TELL PARENTS SORRY

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  (763): SO DRUNK (763): PUKED IN DRIVEWAY (763): TELL PARENTS SORRY http://tfl.nu/g7hk
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (240)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.

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  (330): A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent. http://tfl.nu/mkyo
  Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (196)

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