Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
