So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
