Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
