On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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