You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
