Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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