Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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