i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
