grandma shit on top of the toilet
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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