you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That accounts for only three of the penises
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
