Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
