Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
