i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
