I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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