Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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