D3 body, D1 cock
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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