So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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