Pappa wants mamma naked
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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