I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize