You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
