Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize