he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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