Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had sex on a roof
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
